My wife and I met playing Pathfinder. That’s how we became a couple. It’s a little more convoluted than that, because when we first met we really didn’t like each other all that much.
It was 2010 and I’d just moved back to Albuquerque a few months earlier. An old friend invited me to join her Pathfinder campaign, and I jumped at the chance. Some other old friends were in the game, and it was an opportunity to reconnect with people.
Katie was also part of the game. We’d never met before, but she was our mutual friend’s best friend. Because we only interacted within the game, our perceptions of one another we based on our characters. She was playing a half-elf paladin, and naturally was lawful good. I was playing a chaotic neutral gnome sorcerer. You can imagine how that dynamic worked.
The characters were a pain in each others’ asses. This would have worked well, on both dramatic and comedic levels, if Katie and I knew each other better. Had there been a degree of familiarity with each others’ personalities, and some amount of trust, it could have been fun.
Katie was also new to roleplaying. She’d always wanted to play, but had been excluded by guys she knew because she was a “girl”. Playing a character with an adversarial relationship to hers, even though I was being a lighthearted force of chaos to everyone, punched her buttons. Admittedly, I could have done better.
Becoming a Couple
She eventually realized that a paladin wasn’t a good fit for her. She switched to playing a halfling druid, and viola! Our characters got along. We started getting along, in-game.
We started dating accidentally. True fact. The group would also get together for other activities. The first accidental date was a movie. It was a punk film festival, on a weeknight, and the weather turned out to be terrible. Everyone bailed, except the two of us. Since we were there, and really wanted to see the films being shown, we forged ahead. We had a good time.
A few days later the group was supposed to go to the botanical gardens. The same thing happened. There was a parade going on, and traffic was screwed up, so some people turned around and went home. Others were ill, or had sick kids. We ended up shrugging, walking the gardens, and having a lovely time. Afterward we stopped at the snack bar, got beverages, and sat there for hours talking. We ended up shutting the place down.
The third accidental date was the week after that. Prior to the first two accidental outings, I told her I wanted to take her out to dinner, for her birthday, as friends. It was intended to be a peace offering, after our year-long adversarial relationship in-game. We decided by the end of the dinner that it was a date, and retconned the first two accidental outings to be dates.
We’ve been together as a couple, and have been gaming together, ever since. I still tend to play characters that annoy the crap out of her, which is fine. It’s how well we get along in real life that matters.
#RPGaDay2020 – Couple
RPGaDay is an annual event held each August. It asks tabletop gamers to use provided daily prompts to express something fun, interesting, and positive about the hobby. David F. Chapman (Autocratik), the award-winning game designer, created it.
About Dancing Lights Press
Dancing Lights Press is a lo-fi publisher of tabletop roleplaying systems and system-agnostic creative aids, including the best selling Building series, the DoubleZero action thriller system, and Hippogryph, a fantasy story game system with traditional roots. Our products embrace a minimalist aesthetic in design and presentation because roleplaying is an activity, not a collection of expensive rulebooks.